Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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