the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
