Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
