Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
