the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
