Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize