I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think my vagina is haunted
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
