She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
