Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
