My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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