You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
