Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize