It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Welp...herpes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
