Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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