Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
