i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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