for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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