Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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