he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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