Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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