1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
