I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
