I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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