Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize