Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize