I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
