Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
