I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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