I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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