It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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