I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
