lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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