I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
