And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
