Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My vagina is very pro this idea
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize