I skipped work to stalk him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
