Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When did angry sex become our thing?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
