She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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