if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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