your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
