your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
