he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
As shirtless as possible
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
