Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
