I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
