everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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