And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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