You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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