On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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