So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Blood and glitter go together right?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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