apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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