thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
