they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
