is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
