You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
pop tarts are not kleenex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
don't judge my taste in strippers
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
