Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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