You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize