What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
